Dapat kanina ako nagsulat, kaninang nag-uumapaw ako sa kalungkutan at mura nang mura. Tuwing may makikita akong magjowa, o kahit sinong may hawak ng blue magic, fresh bouquet, long-stemmed rose — napapamura ako.
Hindi ko inakalang seseryosohin ng buong paligid ang Valentine’s Day. Pakiramdam ko kasi, maraming single na gaya ko ngayong taon. Pero hindi. Nasapawan ng mga panutsa ang mga ampalaya. Nagkalat ang mga dahon ng rosas sa hagdanan ng CAL, nagkalat ang mga wedding booth sa kung saan-saan, at nagkalat ang mga magkasintahan sa kalsada. Di ko na maalala kung ilang babae ang namataan kong may hawak na bulaklak kaninang umaga. Basta tuwing nakakakita ako, nagmumura talaga ako, kahit sa isipan lang.
Sa sobrang paglalakbay ng aking isipan, nawalan pa tuloy ako ng isang piraso ng damit. (huwag na nating alalahanin kung paano nawala XD) Pero sinikap kong gawing ordinaryo ang araw na ito, sa pamamagitan ng pagpapa-ring bind ng Plague Year at pagpapasukat ng salamin kani-kanina lang. Pangatlong pares ko na nga pala ito ng salamin. Yung una na multi-coated, napaglipasan ng grado. Yung pangalawa, nawasak. (huwag na nating alalahanin kung paano nawasak XD) Iingatan ko na itong pangatlo kahit isa lamang itong cheap na AO.
At kasalanan ng salamin na ito kung bakit napatambay pa ako sa SM at naipagduldulan sa sarili na ako’y nag-iisa. Isang oras kasi bago mailagay yung lens sa frame. Sumipsip ako ang milk tea for thirty minutes, tapos twenty minutes kumain ng fries. Nakatambay lang ako sa plant box, pa-cool, pa-astig, kahit naka PE uniform.
Habang nakaupo roon, hindi ko maiwasang isipin na masarap din kahit papano ang walang date date ngayong araw. 1. Wala akong ibang ililibre. 2. Di ko kelangang mag-make up (although oo, natutulog lang ang bagong biling ever bilena sa makeup kit ko.) 3. Di ko kelangang pumostura. 4. Di ko kelangang mag-isip ng ice breaker. 5. Di ko kelangang magpanggap na enjoy ako. 6. Malayang mag-muni muni.
Ang tangi kong naaalala habang nakatanaw sa food court, ay ang highschool prom namin. May mabagal na love song na tumutugtog, lahat ng tao masaya, kulay pink ang paligid, samantalang ako ay nag-iisa, deprived sa anumang uri ng kaligayahan. Pero wala akong hinihiling na dumating noong sandaling iyon. Kuntento na ako sa alat ng cheese flavored fries at sa pagmumura sa bawat dumaraan na may blue magic at bulaklak.
Naubos din ang kinakain kong fries, pero may fifteen minutes pa bago ako babalik sa EO. Sa paghahanap ko ng basurahan, napatambay ako sa gilid ng escalator at isa-isang tinanaw ang mga tao (o pares) na papaakyat sa second floor. Habang sinusuri ang mga pagmumukha ng earth cohabitants, hindi napigilan ng kaadikan kong magloko-loko. Nagkomento ang utak ko sa mga masisilayan na magkasintahan.
1. He’s too ugly for her.
2. He probably had paid her to go out on a date.
3. They’re having premarital sex.
4. That’s a lesbian couple.
5. This couple has sex.
6. He got her pregnant; that’s why she married him.
7. They’re having sex.
But the funniest couple (who made me laugh out loud and cover my mouth) was this pair of more or less below fifteen, wearing for-couple designed shirts with the label: “meet my husband/wife”, and there’s a purple arrow pointing to one another. I JUST HAD TO LAUGH. The boy was awfully ugly, and the girl was not pretty. The only resolution i could thing of was, probably they’d taken one another’s virginity, once upon a drunken blue night, and had no choice but to stick together because “s/he took my virginity.” Aww, come on guys. That’s just virginity. I’ve lost mine for like, three times, and to two different guys, at a two-year interval. It’s not a big deal.
I know many couples spent the day inside a cheap motel; he banging her head against the headboard, and she riding him reverse cowgirl style. Well, I won’t condemn any of you, whether you are on the legal age or not, whether you’re with a whore or somebody else’s lover. I support the Free Love Movement, guys, so you have my support to spread the love.
But as awkward as it may seem, i personally do not put sex as the top priority in a relationship. Sex in relationships is good (except when it’s bad) but for me, i’d much enjoy the day making fun of other people, rather than having great sex, no matter how good. There’s a lot more to relationships than just sex. A relationship that’s purely sexual — like, going to park just to kiss and touch, instead of having an intellectual discussion — is an empty one. I compare sex to the strawberry toppings of a strawberry cake. Intellect is the bread, Beauty is the icing. What can be better than the guy who’s great to talk with, nice to look at, and can make me scream in bed? XD Oh well. I’m still waiting for you.
This Saturday, I swear, I’ll get a new tattoo.
