Horniest Objects in the House That Talk

I got these bunch of lines from “talking objects” filed under dirty humor. These are originally filipino but i translated them for you. Here they go:

“How will anything happen if i won’t lay on top of you?”
–lego

“Lick and moisturize me first so i’ll be stiff and would easily go through”
–sewing thread

“Why hung me up exactly when it’s so hot and i’m very wet?”
–laundry


“Heat me up..i need to pop so you can taste me and you’ll be pleased.”

–popcorn

Hehe that’s all i got. You can add more via comment :)

A Post For Chile

Another proof that the end is near. I just read via Twitter about the 8.8 magnitude earthquake that hit Chile. I was shocked. Just recently, the same tragedy hit Haiti. But not truly similar, because according to what i read it was dozens of times stronger than the Haiti earthquake. Nearly a hundred lives were taken by the earthquake in Chile. Souls departed, candles lit, a rise or fall of hope.

I pray for those who lived, those who will face the aftermath of this tragedy. I may not be able to extend a helping hand, but i can give prayers and a short notice for them. May those who have the capacity to help share whatever they can for our co-inhabitants of Mother Earth. May a sun rise for Chile and for the families who lost their loved ones.I am a youth, i do care.

A Teen Thinks Of DEATH.

“Think of the world as one huge fucking forum, with God as the admin. Thousands of people are banned everyday, but there are also thousands of new users everyday so it balances out…However, not everybody is permabanned by God. Some people delete their own IRL accounts.”

This is an excellent definition of death from encyclopediadramatica.com. Humorous, maybe, but still it’s factual. I think of the world in that way, too. God is the admin of a huge chatroom He created. However, the whole chatroom as described by encyclopediadramatica is too spritual for me. As i observe, the statistics of natural death rivals death caused by man himself. Even the so-called accidents! Car accident? Man oversped, drove irresponsibly, then bam! Dead. That man died of cancer? He smoked his lungs out! The teen slashed his wrist. A family got massacred. Old woman died in hospital bed, possibly of old age, but rumors tell that her son so eager to get the money cut off her oxygen tube. Is God in there? If you want to insist that he’s there in the whole dying process, then he’s the invisible brainwave in the heads of people who created DEATH.

The people who believe the old fairytale about the Big Imaginary friend are now planning to make hate-notes for me.

P.S. I’m Christian, i go to church least every Sunday. But remind you, i’m a teen writer. Godspeed.