Every now and then, there are these new words that i meet in some passages. I frequently forget to consult the dictionary for meanings, because sometimes i catch their meanings through the way they are used in a sentence. So today i picked the dictionary and searched for the word contemplate (just to be surely sure) and it meant just as how i thought it did. I also found that word beautiful; it is an elite and deeper way to say “to observe, to look,” and i must say that that word is filled with so much profundity.
But i shall make it clear that i’m not posting now just to express my brief appreciation for such word. I just found out that i contemplate life a lot, and somehow regret doing it because i just find faults and imperfections in my life.
Does contemplating life only end to the point of sheer disappointment? By this i can make a hypothesis that “those who always reflect, who always count what they have, who always contemplate, are those who never find happiness.” Well in my recent contemplations of life i realize that: i want to see more of the world yet i’m imprisoned in the four walls of my little environment; i’m eager to finally get access to those things i never had; i wish for connections between my soul and others. In conclusion, contemplation of life just opens my eyes to the naked truth that i’m not (or ever was) happy or content with what i have.
But if i don’t contemplate life and stop searching for what more do i wish to have, i probably will see that: gladly, i’m still safe; my life is still somehow attached to sanity; i have my necessities; and people who i love still haven’t given up on me. By this, i can say that i have reasons to be joyful and thankful!
Contemplation of life closes our eyes to the things we have, and opens them to those we do not have. But despite knowing this, i find myself contemplating and contemplating over and over. Maybe man can never really find contentment.
